My reviews Archives - Lizbeth Muses

Soul Marked by C. Gockel

On July 10, 2023

Soul Marked by C. Gockel

(3,5 stars out of 5)*

I am notoriously difficult with books. I usually avoid speaking my mind cause I don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. This is why I write hack and slash “aim for the head” bloodthirsty reviews only if the author is dead, or very very famous. This, however, is a good book; I’d easily say 3,5 stars.

Yay points:
1. Bi-cultural, nerdy, technically gifted heroine who’s not White.
2. ANGUISHED ELVESSSSS
3. Suspense and lots of action!
4. Good strong writing with actual characters and no typos. Lots of fun to read, sucks you right in.
5. It has a beginning and an end. Doesn’t leave you hanging and you have to buy the next one. Also, it has actual substance. It’s not one of those 70 pages-long reads that have the audacity to call themselves books.
6. Some good thinking and points on how translation works and how many differences and challenges exist when the protagonists belong to different species. I could see that the author paid attention, and did try to give plausible thought processes and explanations. This effort is evident in other aspects of the book too.

Nope points:
1. Present tense. >.< Ughhhh
2. A bit all over the place. As other reviews state too, there are some incidents, actions and loose ends that are not tied up or explained properly. *(Spoiler: placed as footnote at the bottom of this entry)
3. Rushed anticlimactic ending that doesn’t avoid some clichés and easy solutions. **(Spoiler: placed as footnote at the bottom of this entry)
4. Because this book belongs to a series, and I am guessing related events take place in another book, we never really understand how we move from “the end of the world is nigh” to “happily every after”. Still, compared to other books in the same box set, this one has a certain level. It’s not clumsy teenage fan-fiction. (Yes, I am looking at you. The worst bit is that you don’t know who you are, and you have to torture me with your creations.)

Dear author, you kept me busy during several physio visits. Thank you for this treat. <3

You can buy Soul Marked by C. Gockel or download a sample here.

Alternatively, you can get the entire box set “The Paranormal 13” for free here.

*My star rating and what it means:

Zero stars: Why me?!? I do come across books that aren’t really books, but brain damage in disguise. For reasons you can all understand, I won’t be publishing reviews on them. I tend to become enraged and say things I later on regret.

One star: Meh… I didn’t like it and won’t be keeping it. It might be the book, or it might be me. I’ll try to clarify in my review.

Two stars: Average/ Okay. Either the kind of light/ undemanding book you read and don’t remember in a month, or suffering from flaws that prevented it from realising its potential.

Three stars: Better than average. Good moments, memorable characters and/ or plot, maybe good sense of humour… Not to die for, but not feeling like you wasted your time and money either.

Four stars: Wow, that was good! Definitely keeping it and checking to see what else I can buy from the same writer.

Five stars: Oh. My. Goodness. The kind of book you buy as a gift to all your friends, praise to random strangers on the bus, and re-read until the pages fall out and the corners are no longer corners, but round.

Spoiler section follows

.

*At some point the protagonist invokes something to save both his and Tara’s life, and this is supposed to be a taboo action with terrible consequences. Well, nothing happens.

**For example, the fact Tara stopped growing older at a human pace because reasons.

Thin Air by Kate Thompson

By Lizbeth

On August 14, 2020

In Reviews

My rating: 1 out of 5 stars*

There is probably a point to Thin Air, if someone looks long and hard, the same way water stains on a wall sometimes depict something. Try as I might, however, I couldn’t find it. Skipped most of it to make it to the end in order to understand what the writer wanted to convey. Turns out the writer wanted to create an atmosphere, which is good and fine… as long as there is also a plot. Error 404: plot not found.

I’ll be brief. Thin Air is boring, confusing, moody and pretty much pointless. The point of view changes constantly, almost everyone is regretful and depressed, and all the characters are non-sexual, allergic to sex, sickened by sex and/or sex-starved. The book even begins with a narrowly escaped rape, and it gets weirder and worse. Other than that, everything can be more or less summed up in one sentence: try not to be a shitty parent, because if something happens, you’ll feel awful. I wish I liked the particular character, or any of the characters, in order to care. I didn’t. I felt I was sinking in mire while having an intense episode of brain fog, interrupted by passing images of Ireland’s landscapes, adorned by horses and manure. Plenty of both. Oh, and swans. In a polluted lake.

The blurb at the back of Thin Air was the only remotely interesting aspect of this whole experience. Unfortunately, the blurb talks about fairies and gates and the book is about a missing person. Um, pray tell, why? If I knew what the book was really about, I might or might not have not bothered reading it, but at least I would not have expected a modern fairy tale to be force-fed instead mid-life anguish and family drama.

*My star rating and what it means:

Zero stars: Why me?!? I do come across books that aren’t really books, but brain damage in disguise. For reasons you can all understand, I won’t be publishing reviews on them. I tend to become enraged and say things I later on regret.

One star: Meh… I didn’t like it and won’t be keeping it. It might be the book, or it might be me. I’ll try to clarify in my review.

Two stars: Average/ Okay. Either the kind of light/ undemanding book you read and don’t remember in a month, or suffering from flaws that prevented it from realising its potential.

Three stars: Better than average. Good moments, memorable characters and/ or plot, maybe good sense of humour… Not to die for, but not feeling like you wasted your time and money either.

Four stars: Wow, that was good! Definitely keeping it and checking to see what else I can buy from the same writer.

Five stars: Oh. My. Goodness. The kind of book you buy as a gift to all your friends, praise to random strangers on the bus, and re-read until the pages fall out and the corners are no longer corners, but round.

Caught by the Blizzard

By Lizbeth

On August 18, 2019

In Reviews

Caught by the Blizzard by Adele Huxley

(2,5 stars out of 5)*

Just a quick review to get this rolling…

When I downloaded the book it was an Amazon freebie. From what I see it’s not free anymore. If you would like to buy it or download a sample, you can find it here.

Caught by the Blizzard is well-written, much better than others of its genre, but can someone please mail the female lead her brain if found somewhere? Just saying. She keeps making wrong choices concerning her personal safety throughout the book. It’s not an exaggeration to say she has a death wish, and it was distracting me, because I often found myself yelling adjectives at a person who doesn’t even exist.

I didn’t care for the sex scenes (in the sense that I found them boring and skipped them) but maybe that’s just me. On the other hand, the romantic element was very pleasant and sweet.

One more sore point was that weird preoccupation with virginity. It is one of those American things that make me scratch my head. Somehow it’s considered normal to have done just about everything else, but not have vaginal intercourse. To be frank, I find it demeaning and objectifying to place such importance on a person’s sexual activity (or lack of). It perpetuates beliefs that should have died in like, the early Dark Ages? But again, if that’s not something you mind, you might not even notice it.

Other than that, Caught by the Blizzard is one of those books that are published in two parts and you have to buy part #2 to read the conclusion. If you are OK with it, you’ll probably enjoy it.

*My star rating and what it means:

Zero stars: Why me?!? I do come across books that aren’t really books, but brain damage in disguise. For reasons you can all understand, I won’t be publishing reviews on them. I tend to become enraged and say things I later on regret.

One star: Meh… I didn’t like it and won’t be keeping it. It might be the book, or it might be me. I’ll try to clarify in my review.

Two stars: Average/ Okay. Either the kind of light/ undemanding book you read and don’t remember in a month, or suffering from flaws that prevented it from realising its potential.

Three stars: Better than average. Good moments, memorable characters and/ or plot, maybe good sense of humour… Not to die for, but not feeling like you wasted your time and money either.

Four stars: Wow, that was good! Definitely keeping it and checking to see what else I can buy from the same writer.

Five stars: Oh. My. Goodness. The kind of book you buy as a gift to all your friends, praise to random strangers on the bus, and re-read until the pages fall out and the corners are no longer corners, but round.

The Bitch Song

By Lizbeth

On March 10, 2019

In Reviews

Witch Song by Amber Argyle

(2 out of 5 stars)*

Okay, first things first. Witch Song is harmless, predictable YA fun. If you want to invest in it to take your mind off things, do. The writing is decent and the world not unlikable. Please ignore the rest of my review.

Now, for readers that might be looking for a serious plot and plausible character development, be advised:

1) The only way your heroine can have such low self-esteem is if her mother kept her in a burlap sack and beat her with a stick every day. A large, mean stick. Which is not the case, as her mother dotes on her.

2) Why on earth why would a dark witch wreck utter havoc with the seasons and the planet in general? She has nothing to gain out of it, and in the long run, it will be like shooting her own leg.

3) You do realise that in a battle between mortals and witches the witches win every time, or they can just escape, right?

4) Nope, a girl with such low self-esteem does not suddenly develop awesome leadership skills. Witches are not an exception to that.

5) A book can be complete even if there is no romance in it. In fact, wonder of wonders, a book can be complete even if your heroine does not get engaged to anyone at the end, or in any part of it.

6) Deus ex machina must be used sparingly and ideally, not at all. If you write yourself into a corner and can’t think of a way out, squeeze dem brain cells.

7) Oh yes, it is a series. Naturally. Because every single book has to belong to a series nowadays.

8) Personal pet peeve. Why name your main character Brusenna? Because it has such a good ring to it? Let me think of words that begin with “bru”: Brutus, brutal, brouhaha, brunt, bruise, brusque, brute… Melodic no doubt, and all those positive connotations. It was a natural winner. Not.

You can find Witch Song here.

YA books are my bane… Over and out.

*My star rating and what it means:

Zero stars: Why me?!? I do come across books that aren’t really books, but brain damage in disguise. For reasons you can all understand, I won’t be publishing reviews on them. I tend to become enraged and say things I later on regret.

One star: Meh… I didn’t like it and won’t be keeping it. It might be the book, or it might be me. I’ll try to clarify in my review.

Two stars: Average/ Okay. Either the kind of light/ undemanding book you read and don’t remember in a month, or suffering from flaws that prevented it from realising its potential.

Three stars: Better than average. Good moments, memorable characters and/ or plot, maybe good sense of humour… Not to die for, but not feeling like you wasted your time and money either.

Four stars: Wow, that was good! Definitely keeping it and checking to see what else I can buy from the same writer.

Five stars: Oh. My. Goodness. The kind of book you buy as a gift to all your friends, praise to random strangers on the bus, and re-read until the pages fall out and the corners are no longer corners, but round.

The unholy trinity (grammar, syntax and semantics chaos)

By Lizbeth

On October 23, 2018

In Reviews

The Sect by Courtney Lane

(1 out of 5 stars; it made me laugh)*

Sometimes I am not happy with self-publishing. This is one of those times.

As a reader and writer, I’ve noticed an interesting trend. Advertise a book as extreme, dark, disturbing, and you get a lot of readers willing to overlook the fact that same book is simplistic, implausible and littered with mistakes. The Sect is such a book. What should have been a final draft on a PC waiting for an editor to kick the living daylights out of it, is instead a published book, first part of a trilogy. Let’s see.

Stereotypical main character.

The rich innocent girl cliché has been used countless times, and it is both unoriginal and unrealistic. Just because someone is rich, it does not mean they live in a protective bubble. On the contrary, rich girls tend to be a lot more jaded than girls of the same age and lower income. Why? Use your common sense. I am also tired of seeing innocent girls being thrown in the shit. Where’s the challenge in that? Why not use someone who’s smart and streetwise, and still gets duped? I’d love to see a writer pulling that one off.

Fuck logic because reasons.

The main character’s actions and decisions don’t make sense. Her circumstances don’t make sense either. They just don’t. However they make a convenient basis for the plot, so let’s give her the common sense of a cauliflower. For science!

I ate every space after ellipsis because I was hungry.

Three dots are followed by a space if they are in the middle of the sentence. Otherwise the sentence looks as if it had to urgently hit the brakes and the words kind of clustered together, victims of a tragic typing collision.

Change of past tense narration to present in the middle of the book.

Please don’t do that. The Timelords will find you and hurt you.

Purple prose, grammar and syntax mayhem.

Dear writers, please don’t use rare and unusual words and expressions if you aren’t certain what they mean of how to use them. Chances are you are using them wrong, and it’s not flattering or constructive (although it can be very funny).

I cherry-picked some examples:

“Since the day after I began living on the street…”

No. Just no.

“My deferred dreams…”

The word deferred means postponed. Dreams aren’t something that can be cancelled and rescheduled, like a doctor’s appointment.

“It nearly persuaded me into breaking down.”

You can’t be persuaded into breaking down. First of all, we persuade someone to agree to something, and convince someone to do something. Also, if breaking down was a matter of choice, then it would not happen. I think what the writer wanted to communicate here is that the heroine, upon seeing her worried mother, almost gave in and reappeared.

“With his shirt tucked into his slacks, the imprint of his wallet was easily found.”

An imprint is what happens when you press a hard object onto something soft. It does not stick out, it goes in. This sentence means that the guy had a wallet made from titanium and it had left an impression on his butt. I’m also not sure how such a large butt dimple can be possibly misplaced or lost, in order to be found. I think what the writer is trying to say here is that the outline of this guy’s wallet was readily visible.

“His dark brown eyes were trained to the window.”

Train: to point or aim, used with “on” or “at”. It usually refers to a camera, gun, etc. So much better to say his eyes were focused on the window, isn’t it? Ditch the impressive verb and you can both communicate what you want to say and be correct. Unless this guy shoots laser beams out of his eyes and I just didn’t get it.

“I took in the storefronts, some closed, some were on the brink of opening.”

On the brink: point or state very close to something unknown, dangerous or exciting. Unless the storefronts belonged to science labs, brothels and drug dens, I don’t see any reason for the expression “on the brink” here.

“You need to be taught a lesson on who among us is the omnipotent one.”

Um, the Lord Almighty if you are Christian? Or Allah if you are not? Or chocolate if you are me?

“I shook my head with a viscous motion.”

Ye gods! This one made my eyes pop out. The only way you can make a viscous (thick and sticky) motion is if you aren’t a human being, but a piece of liver sliding down a wall. Or an amoeba. Or an offspring between a human and the Old ones. Why not write “a hibiscus motion”? It’s prettier and just as nonsensical a choice. I mean, why not. Hibiscus motion. I like it.

Editing, guys. Proper, merciless editing. I can’t stress this enough. I really can’t.

Did Not Finish at 21% Come on, blame me for it.

You can find the Sect here.

*My star rating and what it means:

Zero stars: Why me?!? I do come across books that aren’t really books, but brain damage in disguise. For reasons you can all understand, I won’t be publishing reviews on them. I tend to become enraged and say things I later on regret.

One star: Meh… I didn’t like it and won’t be keeping it. It might be the book, or it might be me. I’ll try to clarify in my review.

Two stars: Average/ Okay. Either the kind of light/ undemanding book you read and don’t remember in a month, or suffering from flaws that prevented it from realising its potential.

Three stars: Better than average. Good moments, memorable characters and/ or plot, maybe good sense of humour… Not to die for, but not feeling like you wasted your time and money either.

Four stars: Wow, that was good! Definitely keeping it and checking to see what else I can buy from the same writer.

Five stars: Oh. My. Goodness. The kind of book you buy as a gift to all your friends, praise to random strangers on the bus, and re-read until the pages fall out and the corners are no longer corners, but round.

Louise Bay - King of Wall Street book cover

Romance novels and tinfoil hats

By Lizbeth

On June 5, 2018

In Reviews

King of Wall Street by Louise Bay

(3.5 out of 5 stars)*

Three and a half stars.

I won King of Wall Street in a giveaway. I gained the favour of fickle Lady Luck by expecting fish to grow legs and ride a bicycle before I win anything in a giveaway. In retrospect, winning was inevitable. This has nothing to do with the review I am about to write, except for the fact winning the book allowed me to write the review in the first place. It’s like the chicken and egg argument without vegans butting in. My opinions are my own, especially when I wear my tinfoil hat. During other times I am not so sure. I sometimes wake up in my kitchen with an opened can of cat food in my hand, surrounded by a horde of screaming felines and no memory of how I got there. But I digress.

I enjoyed King of Wall Street. It was fun, sexy, quirky, with a nice sense of humour and very few/tiny mistakes. Overall it was a very enjoyable read. If you want to relax your mind immersed in a modern-day romance story, look no further. Don’t expect to cry tears of enlightenment over it or gape with amazement at the sudden plot twists. It’s a very decent book for its genre, better than many others I’ve read, more freshly written, funnier and sexier. It’s also predictable for the same reasons most romance novels are predictable. I mean, you know that these two are going to end up together, just don’t know how they will get there and that’s why you read the book.

The heroine is admittedly a bit irritating. She makes the mistake of mixing business with pleasure with every unpleasantness this entails. Sometimes her reactions are immature, but since one of the basic plot elements is her relationship with her father, it makes sense. Or at least it did not bother me. I don’t expect heroes to be perfect. I only expect their actions and decisions to make sense according to what we know about their past and personalities. As such, she made perfect sense.

The only real complaint I have is the hero. Yes, yes, his fourteen-year-old daughter is his precious snowflake and if she wears a short skirt the firmament will tremble and the world will end, devoured by giant locusts or something. He’s a tough, tough mother… cracker, and he’s the best at what he is, the fear of lesser men, blah de blah. But. Although his daughter is as innocent as the driven snow and her purity must be guarded till his last breath, he sees the heroine as a magnificent a$$ and a perky pair of boobs that accidentally have a face and a name. Oh, and guess what! That tough guy is constantly bossed around by his female relatives. How this works, I honestly don’t know. Then again, it’s a trend in many romance books I’ve come across. Men at the pinnacle of success who are superior to other men, leaders of the pack, fearless predators, yet their relationship with women is either to cower in front of their female relatives or see orifices instead of people. I think that, too, is a result of the alpha male role model romance writers are desperate to incorporate in their books because it is the synonym of ‘successful’ and ‘interesting’ (=sales). Then they find themselves stranded with a caveman in a suit and desperately try to humanise him, turning him into a walking contradiction in the process, because they have to show he has a vulnerable side that does not fit anywhere in the previous picture. Whoopsie.

Yes, yes, I know. I went and wrote a feminist analysis on a romance book. Bite me, it’s really late. I am off to wear my tinfoil hat and feed my cats. Despite my complaints, I am looking forward to reading more books by the same author. I had lots of fun with King of Wall Street.

*My star rating and what it means:

Zero stars: Why me?!? I do come across books that aren’t really books, but brain damage in disguise. For reasons you can all understand, I won’t be publishing reviews on them. I tend to become enraged and say things I later on regret.

One star: Meh… I didn’t like it and won’t be keeping it. It might be the book, or it might be me. I’ll try to clarify in my review.

Two stars: Average/ Okay. Either the kind of light/ undemanding book you read and don’t remember in a month, or suffering from flaws that prevented it from realising its potential.

Three stars: Better than average. Good moments, memorable characters and/ or plot, maybe good sense of humour… Not to die for, but not feeling like you wasted your time and money either.

Four stars: Wow, that was good! Definitely keeping it and checking to see what else I can buy from the same writer.

Five stars: Oh. My. Goodness. The kind of book you buy as a gift to all your friends, praise to random strangers on the bus, and re-read until the pages fall out and the corners are no longer corners, but round.

The end of the world… or not.

By Lizbeth

On December 10, 2017

In Reviews

Widdershins by Jordan L. Hawk

(2.5 out of 5 stars)*

Hm.

I really enjoyed the Magpie lord series. I figured the series Whyborne & Griffin would be similar, and picked Widdershins, the first book. I was quite wrong. Here is a list of reasons I disliked it.

1) Percival, the protagonist of the story, has abysmal self-esteem. Page after page I kept reading his “oh, poor me” inner dialogue and wanted to slap him back to his senses, or just slap him. Poor Percival who can speak 13 languages, grew up in a rich family and yet he’s as socially adept as a mute blindfolded crippled orangutan. It didn’t make sense and quickly grew tiring and started grating on my nerves.

2) The handsome stranger (in this case, a detective) who enters his life has issues too, underneath the flair, swagger and bravado. I found it predictable and honestly, boring.

3) Percival’s only friend is a strong female character who quickly becomes insufferable. She is the voice of reason, yet she is overbearing and irritating in her own special way. I don’t mean she ought to be more lady-like and fragile. She barges into Percival’s office whenever she needs to unwind by ranting or use his services as a translator, and won’t take no for an answer. I would have politely told her to get stuffed and shut the door in her face, but maybe that’s just me.

4) The other thing I didn’t like was the mixture of romance and cosmic horror elements. I enjoy romance and adore H.P. Lovecraft. A good combination can make the romance hotter and the horror colder. In this book they have a detrimental effect on each other. More often than not, the two genres get in each other’s way, toning down the horror element and making the romance feel out of place. I felt I was reading two separate books that somehow got mixed together, and it did not get better. I had the mental image of a hearse driver and a can-can dancer playing basketball in a tiny room stuffed with furniture. Whenever one of them was about to score a point, they tripped on each other or the furniture.

5) Oh, by the way. The “world is about to end” thing… ugh. Generally speaking, the end of the world is not something easy to happen, otherwise it would have happened every Saturday night. Do you have any idea how many weirdos exist out there, and I mean in real life? If a team of occultists could bring about the end of the world just because the stars are are aligned in whichever way, we would all be screwed. If the stars were indeed at an unusual and rare position, I for one would have expected more ‘warnings’, in the form of natural phenomena taking place all over Percival’s world, i.e. earthquakes, volcanoes, strange plagues, rains of animals etc. It’s not an event like an outsider winning the badminton championship, that can pass unnoticed if you’re not into badminton. On a clusterfuck scale of one to ten this is a solid eleven, so let’s just treat it with some respect, OK?

To sum up, Widdershins is not a bad book. I’ve read books that can open holes in reality by how bad they were. I sometimes think Necronomicon was in reality a YA abomination later to be turned into a fully-fledged franchise, and that’s why it drove occultists mad. Well, Widdershins definitely isn’t one of those. It’s well-written and it has its moments. I guess it just didn’t work for me.

*My star rating and what it means:

Zero stars: Why me?!? I do come across books that aren’t really books, but brain damage in disguise. For reasons you can all understand, I won’t be publishing reviews on them. I tend to become enraged and say things I later on regret.

One star: Meh… I didn’t like it and won’t be keeping it. It might be the book, or it might be me. I’ll try to clarify in my review.

Two stars: Average/ Okay. Either the kind of light/ undemanding book you read and don’t remember in a month, or suffering from flaws that prevented it from realising its potential.

Three stars: Better than average. Good moments, memorable characters and/ or plot, maybe good sense of humour… Not to die for, but not feeling like you wasted your time and money either.

Four stars: Wow, that was good! Definitely keeping it and checking to see what else I can buy from the same writer.

Five stars: Oh. My. Goodness. The kind of book you buy as a gift to all your friends, praise to random strangers on the bus, and re-read until the pages fall out and the corners are no longer corners, but round.

Fifty Shades of (Mental) Pain

By Lizbeth

On May 1, 2017

In Reviews

I know, I know, it is an old book. It is also one that belongs to the Did-Not-Finish (And- Would- Rather- Eat- Sauteed- Pickled- Moths- Topped- With-Lanolin- Cream- Than- Continue) Category. So.

Fifty Shades of Grey by E. L. James.

(0 out of 5 stars)*

I gave the Fifty shades of Grey a go though I was certain I would not like it. And I didn’t. It is badly written and extremely repetitive. The male protagonist is repulsive and needs psychiatric help. The female protagonist is a two-dimensional Mary Sue straight out of a 50s movie who can’t tell abuse from interest. The way BDSM is presented is extremely wrong and dangerous. The only person of colour is portrayed as a potential rapist. The plot is pretty much the same as that of any other insipid romance novel, only worse. The only explanation I have for its success is that people enjoy reading easy books that do not challenge them. Women in particular love the idea of saving the bad boy from his own self, because we have been taught that this is what we are born to do. Unfortunately, no-one can be saved, and books like this one glorify abusive relationships, psycho stalkers, and female passivity and victimisation. If you want to read a BDSM fantasy, there is much better erotica free on the net.

*My star rating and what it means:

Zero stars: Why me?!? I do come across books that aren’t really books, but brain damage in disguise. For reasons you can all understand, I won’t be publishing reviews on them. I tend to become enraged and say things I later on regret.

One star: Meh… I didn’t like it and won’t be keeping it. It might be the book, or it might be me. I’ll try to clarify in my review.

Two stars: Average/ Okay. Either the kind of light/ undemanding book you read and don’t remember in a month, or suffering from flaws that prevented it from realising its potential.

Three stars: Better than average. Good moments, memorable characters and/ or plot, maybe good sense of humour… Not to die for, but not feeling like you wasted your time and money either.

Four stars: Wow, that was good! Definitely keeping it and checking to see what else I can buy from the same writer.

Five stars: Oh. My. Goodness. The kind of book you buy as a gift to all your friends, praise to random strangers on the bus, and re-read until the pages fall out and the corners are no longer corners, but round.

What’s funny about Assassin’s Creed?

By Lizbeth

On September 22, 2016

In Reviews

I have neglected adding reviews here. So I am going to add two, to make up for it. One funny, one not so funny. The first one will be…

Assassin’s Creed#3: the Secret Crusade by Oliver Bowden.

(2 out of 5 stars)*

I keep reading this series because it’s easy to read, but it also irritates me because it’s simplistic, implausible and flat. I found this book better than the two previous, yet it still leaves much to be desired. I mean we’re talking about Assassins, you know? Stuff that normally would have rocked your socks to a speed metal mosh pit degree. Instead we get eh, meh, bleh, blah de blah, and dying men who have been stabbed in the neck and still deliver last speeches that amount to whole paragraphs of text. I’m positive that if I’m ever stabbed, I’ll make sounds like a defective sprinkler sputtering to life and a dying goldfish. I won’t have enough breath left to reveal so much before kicking the bucket. Altair’s victims, once they have been given the killing blow, turn incredibly talkative. From now on, next time one of my heroes wants information, he or she won’t threaten to kill the prisoner unless they talk. They will kill the prisoner et voila, they will be given all the information they need and then some. Maybe even offered hedge fund strategy advice. Who knows.

I’m not sure how the writer would have handled things if he had been given freedom to do what he wanted instead of following a predetermined plot. Maybe the result would have been better. Personally, I’m waiting for the movie with Fassbender and hope it will be worthwhile, because the books I’ve read so far have failed to give me my fix.

And now for the next one…

Zombie by Joyce Carol Oates

(1 out of 5 stars)*

While I love serial killers and reading about the darkness of human soul (one of my favourite books is Exquisite Corpse by Poppy Brite), I didn’t enjoy this one. I could not get into the narrative. I felt I was reading the diary of a ten-year old with serious expression and consistency problems. I also felt that the book aimed at shock value. I found it artificial and forced. I understand that the writer chose the particular style of narration to show the chaotic, emotionally stunted inside of the killer’s head, but unfortunately it made the book unreadable for me.

I have tried to read a short story by the same writer with similar results. I fear it is a matter of taste; Mrs. Oates doesn’t work for me.

*My star rating and what it means:

Zero stars: Why me?!? I do come across books that aren’t really books, but brain damage in disguise. For reasons you can all understand, I won’t be publishing reviews on them. I tend to become enraged and say things I later on regret.

One star: Meh…I didn’t like it and won’t be keeping it. It might be the book, or it might be me. I’ll try to clarify in my review.

Two stars: Average/ Okay.Either the kind of light/ undemanding book you read and don’t remember in a month, or suffering from flaws that prevented it from realising its potential.

Three stars: Better than average.Good moments, memorable characters and/ or plot, maybe good sense of humour… Not to die for, but not feeling like you wasted your time and money either.

Four stars: Wow, that was good!Definitely keeping it and checking to see what else I can buy from the same writer.

Five stars: Oh. My. Goodness. The kind of book you buy as a gift to all your friends, praise to random strangers on the bus, and re-read until the pages fall out and the corners are no longer corners, but round.

Do not judge me by my need for cheese!

By Lizbeth

On June 27, 2016

In Reviews

Her Sinful Angel by Felicity Heaton (3 out of 5 stars)*

Generally speaking, I don’t like Paranormal Romance. It’s simplistic, badly written, and full of stereotypes. Also, it often has elements I find deeply disturbing. I have seen rape and torture glorified and used as romance elements, heroines with a death wish that are every thinking woman’s nightmare, male heroes that behave like crack addicts dying from testosterone poisoning, and more insta-love that I can stomach. But. I still read this genre because I can’t really help it. It’s like standing in the aisle of snacks in the supermarket, and looking at the most disgusting, artificial flavour and colour, fake cheese greasy eeewww sticks, and buying the biggest pack you can find. It’s every dietician’s and trainer’s worst enemy, it’s something that you will regret eating, it’s the epitome of “once on your lips, forever on your hips” junk food. BUT. You crave the damn things. You want to eat them. You NEED that cheesy, disgusting, greasy, full fat, salt and calorie nightmare. You know you’re going to stuff your face and have yellow teeth and nails and indigestion for three days, but you want them, and you’re going to have them, and may God help anyone who tries to stop you. That’s EXACTLY my relationship with Paranormal Romance. I know it’s bad, I know I am going to regret reading it… But I want it. It’s a guilty pleasure that more often than not, I don’t enjoy. But I need to try to make sure, because, you know, this time it might be different.

Now that introductions are out of the way, let’s review this one. Actually, Her Sinful Angel was a pleasant surprise among the usual rubbish. Needless to say, lots of corn, cheese and growling in the ingredients. I mean for fudge’s sake, the devil falls in love with a mortal woman. Duh. So:

Insta-love, check.

Tragic male hero, check.

Tortured heroine, check.

A bad boy who’s in reality a big softie who loves to be bossed around in bedroom, check.

Plausible? Yes. Don’t expect scientific research or anything… But a lot more plausible than others of the same genre.

Easy to read? Yes, the language is good and the text flows without distracting the reader.

Sex? Plenty, although to be honest I didn’t care much for it.

A bit simplistic? Yes, but if you’re looking for something mentally challenging, try Nietzsche.

So with these in mind, if you like your male heroes dark, powerful, tortured and dangerous and your heroines with a bit of backbone and compassionate, grab this one. You’ll enjoy it. I didn’t feel cheated when I finished it and believe me, for me that’s an exception with this genre.

*My star rating and what it means:

Zero stars: Why me?!? I do come across books that aren’t really books, but brain damage in disguise. For reasons you can all understand, I won’t be publishing reviews on them. I tend to become enraged and say things I later on regret.

One star: Meh… I didn’t like it and won’t be keeping it. It might be the book, or it might be me. I’ll try to clarify in my review.

Two stars: Average/ Okay. Either the kind of light/ undemanding book you read and don’t remember in a month, or suffering from flaws that prevented it from realising its potential.

Three stars: Better than average. Good moments, memorable characters and/ or plot, maybe good sense of humour… Not to die for, but not feeling like you wasted your time and money either.

Four stars: Wow, that was good! Definitely keeping it and checking to see what else I can buy from the same writer.

Five stars: Oh. My. Goodness. The kind of book you buy as a gift to all your friends, praise to random strangers on the bus, and re-read until the pages fall out and the corners are no longer corners, but round.

Tag: My reviews Page 1 of 3