Tag: Amazon Page 1 of 2

Hello everyone! I hope you are well!

Now that the days are finally getting cooler and daylight starts to diminish, I decided to run a quick promotion. It will run for roughly five days, so if you want a dark and delicious little book for a Halloween read, grab your copy now! It has stellar reviews on both Amazon and Goodreads and it has been banned by Amazon, so join me on the dark side! Candles, tea and cookies are optional, but increase the reading pleasure exponentially. 😉

Ebook is priced at $0.99 on Amazon, and I will offer free postage worldwide for any physical copies of my book bought directly through me using Paypal. The bookstores that sell my book do not participate in this offer.

Find my ebook on Amazon here.

You can buy a physical copy of my book by sending via Paypal 5 $ or 5 euro to gabriel.lizbeth@yahoo.com. If you like, my awesome post expert and assistant Elizabeth will be happy to send you a signed copy, so please let us know when you make your payment.

Please note that the free postage offered is regular airmail. If you are interested in tracking, you need to add $3.50 or 3.50 euro to the $5 or 5 euro book price. I will still pay the postage costs myself. You will only pay for tracking.

You can read more details on physical copies as well as the awesome freebies/extras I always include here.

You have until Saturday the 1st of November, my lovelies.

Looking forward to hearing from you!

Soul Marked by C. Gockel

By Lizbeth

On July 10, 2023

In Reviews

Soul Marked by C. Gockel

(3,5 stars out of 5)*

I am notoriously difficult with books. I usually avoid speaking my mind cause I don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. This is why I write hack and slash “aim for the head” bloodthirsty reviews only if the author is dead, or very very famous. This, however, is a good book; I’d easily say 3,5 stars.

Yay points:
1. Bi-cultural, nerdy, technically gifted heroine who’s not White.
2. ANGUISHED ELVESSSSS
3. Suspense and lots of action!
4. Good strong writing with actual characters and no typos. Lots of fun to read, sucks you right in.
5. It has a beginning and an end. Doesn’t leave you hanging and you have to buy the next one. Also, it has actual substance. It’s not one of those 70 pages-long reads that have the audacity to call themselves books.
6. Some good thinking and points on how translation works and how many differences and challenges exist when the protagonists belong to different species. I could see that the author paid attention, and did try to give plausible thought processes and explanations. This effort is evident in other aspects of the book too.

Nope points:
1. Present tense. >.< Ughhhh
2. A bit all over the place. As other reviews state too, there are some incidents, actions and loose ends that are not tied up or explained properly. *(Spoiler: placed as footnote at the bottom of this entry)
3. Rushed anticlimactic ending that doesn’t avoid some clichés and easy solutions. **(Spoiler: placed as footnote at the bottom of this entry)
4. Because this book belongs to a series, and I am guessing related events take place in another book, we never really understand how we move from “the end of the world is nigh” to “happily every after”. Still, compared to other books in the same box set, this one has a certain level. It’s not clumsy teenage fan-fiction. (Yes, I am looking at you. The worst bit is that you don’t know who you are, and you have to torture me with your creations.)

Dear author, you kept me busy during several physio visits. Thank you for this treat. <3

You can buy Soul Marked by C. Gockel or download a sample here.

Alternatively, you can get the entire box set “The Paranormal 13” for free here.

*My star rating and what it means:

Zero stars: Why me?!? I do come across books that aren’t really books, but brain damage in disguise. For reasons you can all understand, I won’t be publishing reviews on them. I tend to become enraged and say things I later on regret.

One star: Meh… I didn’t like it and won’t be keeping it. It might be the book, or it might be me. I’ll try to clarify in my review.

Two stars: Average/ Okay. Either the kind of light/ undemanding book you read and don’t remember in a month, or suffering from flaws that prevented it from realising its potential.

Three stars: Better than average. Good moments, memorable characters and/ or plot, maybe good sense of humour… Not to die for, but not feeling like you wasted your time and money either.

Four stars: Wow, that was good! Definitely keeping it and checking to see what else I can buy from the same writer.

Five stars: Oh. My. Goodness. The kind of book you buy as a gift to all your friends, praise to random strangers on the bus, and re-read until the pages fall out and the corners are no longer corners, but round.

Spoiler section follows

*At some point the protagonist invokes something to save both his and Tara’s life, and this is supposed to be a taboo action with terrible consequences. Well, nothing happens.

**For example, the fact Tara stopped growing older at a human pace because reasons.

The curse of impatience

By Lizbeth

On August 23, 2020

In Uncategorized

So, today I am going to talk to you about a curse that affects self-published writers to a great degree. Our profession is by nature very lonely. Unlike actors, dancers, musicians and other art professionals, the writer gets feedback only after the book is out there for all and sundry to see. It should come as no surprise, then, that when we finish something, be it a short story or a novel or anything in the in between, we want to show it to people. That might be an understatement, actually. We want to shout it from the rooftops, not just show it. For weeks, months, in some cases years, we worked hard on that piece. Now it’s time for it to be released out there, no?

Um, no. Now it’s time for professional editing.

Self-published writer: What? You mean I have to wait even more? You can’t be serious.

I’m as serious as a constipated CEO who’s just discovered that you embezzle money from his company. As serious as a wife who got home early and caught her husband with her best friend playing the eight-legged beast on her new sofa. I really can’t get any more serious. You need to have it edited. Professionally.

Self-published writer: Now listen here, I read it like two thousand times and my best friend also read it and—

I don’t care if your entire family, including distant relatives in Alaska and Timbuktu, took turns reading it to the moon while ceremoniously slitting their wrists and chanting. You need an editor.

Self-published writer: But the money they ask for is ridiculous! Have you seen—

Of course I have seen! Shut up and let me show you something.

That, my friend, is the result I got when I took a brief look into Amazon’s releases on SF and Fantasy in the last 90 days. 50.000 books. Your book is probably in there, too. Yes, you read that right. 50.000 books in 90 days.

To make things simple, there are a lot of books out there. There are probably more books out now than at any other time in history, because Amazon got in the publishing business and they will publish ANYTHING. Even if someone read one book per day (!) for the rest of their lives, and they started at 20 years of age, up until the age of 80 they wouldn’t have read half of those. Which in turn means what?

It means we’re drowning in trashy books. The market is buried under a deluge of amateur, badly written, cheap novels, with atrocious covers and even more atrocious content. It means that people will think twice and thrice before giving their hard-earned money to anyone except safe choices, i.e. writers they already know and trust. In a nutshell, it means you’re f*cked.

Self-published writer: But, but, is there something I can do?

Of course. You can make sure your work is in top-notch condition when you get it out there. You can make sure it is written to the best of your ability and edited and proofread. Oh, and also the art on the book cover is not something you made in like, ten minutes, using a photo from your holidays and a font only you and black metal fans can read.

Self-published writer: But that takes ages! And it costs a lot of money, money I don’t have right now. I’d rather publish it quickly and let people know I exist instead of spending so much money with no guarantee I’ll have sales.

Okay, let me ask you a question. You see a girl or a guy and they are to die for, they are your dream come true. And you get a date with them. On your first date, would you wear your dirty underwear inside out and go there with a weeks’ sweat production wafting off your armpits? Or let’s say you get a job interview you want more than anything. Would you try to nail that job by going there in your pyjamas with your breath stinking of booze?

Self-published writer: Of course not! I wouldn’t stand a chance if I went there in such a state. That first date or interview would be also my last.

Well, it’s the same with your book, or short story, or whatever. There are so many books and writers out there that the chance of someone coming across your work is very, very slim. You need to make sure that if they do come across it, it will be something they remember for the right reasons. Not because it made them cringe. This might be the only chance you’ll get, EVER. Don’t waste it. That same person who came across a bad book or story by you, will never pay money to buy your work. In their minds, you’ll always be that mediocre, or worse, lame writer. There is simply no time for second chances when the next writer is just a click away, and there are 1.859.650 something books available in the Kindle store.

Self-published writer: I think you are exaggerating.

No, I am not. It’s a matter of being serious about your writing career, or not. I recently came across the trilogy of someone who gave $100.000 in advertising to promote her three novels. The idea behind the first was interesting, so I read the Amazon book description. Her heroine found herself in the royal court, “woefully under prepared”. I mean Jesus wore spandex and watered his plants, “underprepared” is one word. Not two. Google it if you are not sure, it’s not a rare or obscure word. She obviously gave her $100.000 to the wrong company, if someone couldn’t be bothered to read the bloody Amazon book description and fix that mistake! And no, I won’t be buying her books. A writer who can’t spot such an obvious mistake in the description of her own book, has either published a book riddled with mistakes, or has paid someone to ghost-write for her. And I, too, can’t be bothered buying it in either case.

Please don’t be the writer that even the book description of their book has mistakes. I mean, if you are serious about it, pretty please don’t be that writer.

Here is some valuable advice on editing:

https://kjcharleswriter.wordpress.com/2014/12/05/self-editing-tips-development-edits/

https://kjcharleswriter.com/2014/12/12/self-editing-tips-line-edits/

More writing tips by the same author and editor.

Scams and lots of other information on how to avoid pitfalls.

There is also this software, and it is incredible. Use it. It will really help you.

Good luck! Oh, and by the way, you can get my book of short stories (that had been professionally edited) for next to nothing here and here. 😉

For those who love the naughty bits

By Lizbeth

On April 18, 2020

In Uncategorized

The title is self-explanatory. I decided to showcase the different aspects of my writing. This entry features stories with a strong erotic element. They are a small taste of the juicy bits you can nibble on if you buy my book for just 1.99$, you lucky thing! So, without further ado… enjoy. 🙂

From Romance:

“…You took your time, pleasing both of us immensely, treating every bit of flesh with endless respect and attention. There was nothing else for you in those moments, no other woman save for me. It took you ages to remove my stockings but by the time you did, I couldn’t be more relaxed or willing. And then your silent mouth would begin its journey to my feet, your tongue snaking between clean toes with pretty, dark red toenails. I drowned in ecstasy when you did this; your hands supporting my foot and you gently sucking my toes one after the other, kissing my tattooed ankles, working upwards with a slowness that sent electric jolts up my spine and made me insane. By the time your mouth was on my sex, I was pulling and tearing handfuls of your hair without registering it, trembling and moaning with an imminent orgasm.”

From A Man of Good Fortune:

“…He put his face on my breasts and inhaled deeply. He seemed to like my scent, because he took another deep breath. His hands slipped through my hair, pulling out the pins and sticks and letting it loose on my shoulders and back, covering me all the way down to my hips. I had had a bath an hour ago and my hair was still fresh, scented with oils and midnight black. I saw the corners of that rich mouth curve slightly in a sadistic leer, and it was the last thing I saw before he pushed me down on the heap of my own clothes, planning to take me right there and then, to add to my disgrace.”

From Endymion:

“…He tore her orange dress with the same celestial smile, leaving smudges of blood and dirt on her shoulders and breasts. She was so scared of his crazed stare she could not utter a single word, but struggled with all her strength against his attack, her eyes huge with fear. He took hold of both her arms with one of his, locking them behind her back, and continued kissing her and baring her, leaving bloody marks everywhere he touched. She thought she’d go insane. Each touch was defiling her, each touch was making her his twin, and he continued, smiling that heartless, lazy beam of his.”

All excerpts are taken from The Theater of Dusk.

For physical copies of my book please refer here.

Thanks for looking!

(Image taken from here.)

Caught by the Blizzard

By Lizbeth

On August 18, 2019

In Reviews

Caught by the Blizzard by Adele Huxley

(2,5 stars out of 5)*

Just a quick review to get this rolling…

When I downloaded the book it was an Amazon freebie. From what I see it’s not free anymore. If you would like to buy it or download a sample, you can find it here.

Caught by the Blizzard is well-written, much better than others of its genre, but can someone please mail the female lead her brain if found somewhere? Just saying. She keeps making wrong choices concerning her personal safety throughout the book. It’s not an exaggeration to say she has a death wish, and it was distracting me, because I often found myself yelling adjectives at a person who doesn’t even exist.

I didn’t care for the sex scenes (in the sense that I found them boring and skipped them) but maybe that’s just me. On the other hand, the romantic element was very pleasant and sweet.

One more sore point was that weird preoccupation with virginity. It is one of those American things that make me scratch my head. Somehow it’s considered normal to have done just about everything else, but not have vaginal intercourse. To be frank, I find it demeaning and objectifying to place such importance on a person’s sexual activity (or lack of). It perpetuates beliefs that should have died in like, the early Dark Ages? But again, if that’s not something you mind, you might not even notice it.

Other than that, Caught by the Blizzard is one of those books that are published in two parts and you have to buy part #2 to read the conclusion. If you are OK with it, you’ll probably enjoy it.

*My star rating and what it means:

One star: Meh… I didn’t like it and won’t be keeping it. It might be the book, or it might be me. I’ll try to clarify in my review.

Two stars: Average/ Okay. Either the kind of light/ undemanding book you read and don’t remember in a month, or suffering from flaws that prevented it from realising its potential.

Three stars: Better than average. Good moments, memorable characters and/ or plot, maybe good sense of humour… Not to die for, but not feeling like you wasted your time and money either.

Four stars: Wow, that was good! Definitely keeping it and checking to see what else I can buy from the same writer.

Sataniasis and masturbosity

By Lizbeth

On May 30, 2019

In Personal

As you probably know, my physical book is no more. My guess is that someone reported it as inappropriate and Creative Space took it down. It baffles me why an overly sensitive reader would buy it since I clearly state in the description they will detest it, but go figure. Conservative types are usually all over inappropriate material faster than flies gather around a corpse. Perhaps they hope to save the rest of us innocent fools from the clutches of diabolical smut by reading it first. Or perhaps they have a metric system and the appropriate gadgets that measure masturbosity and sataniasis in a book. If the gadget starts singing hosannas, it’s safe to read. If the gadget screeches like a televangelist is having a colonoscopy sans anesthesia in a moving firetruck, toss that book into the fireplace and wash your eyes and hands with bleach. I mean, seriously now? Oh, I just don’t know, and it makes no real difference. The book was no more, period, and Amazon refused to give me the exact details why. Grrr.

Now, much as I wanted to mail to the Amazon KDP headquarters a bomb which would contain hordes of live roaches covered in glitter, I did not. I triple-facepalmed, yelled, fumed, cursed like a sailor, complained to my friends… and pretty much left it at that. It is sad, but one has to choose their battles wisely. So Amazon KDP does not want to re-print my book ever. So what. I’ll find another way, I said to myself.

I started looking for an affordable printing company and found one. I decided I’ll sell my book through my blog. The ebook is still available on Amazon. If someone wants to buy a physical copy, they will be buying it from me. They may as well ask for a signed copy; I won’t charge them extra. 😉 Nowadays everyone has Paypal, and so do I. Paypal protects the buyer if something is lost or not as described. Problem solved… or not.

You see, what I just described is a process. It’s not going to happen tomorrow. I hired a graphic designer to do a makeover of my physical book as soon as she has some time. While waiting for that to happen, it was a good opportunity to check the contents. After the graphic designer is done, I won’t be able to change the file again, so the stories should be in top-notch condition prior to the makeover. I was pretty certain they were in good shape, as I had hired an editor before publishing it. Right?

(Bit of advice here: never, and I mean never, let your guard down when it comes to checking and re-checking before publishing something. You may have hired an editor. You may have hired an entire team of them. I don’t care. Read the damn thing one more time before hitting the publish button. Do it for science. Do it for grandma. Just do it. You will thank me later).

So I re-read the contents, groaned, and decided to unpublish the book in order to make corrections. After three weekends of editing, reading, re-reading, re-editing, rubbing my sore eyes and wishing for death, the book was re-published. The new edition is better than the previous, and it can be found here. If you want to check for yourself what this whole fuss was about and why anyone would go as far as to censor it, be my guest. Reviews have been very good on both Goodreads and Amazon so far, and now the book is even better!

Off to feed the cats. Be good to yourselves and have a lovely weekend!

Picture source here.

The Bitch Song

By Lizbeth

On March 10, 2019

In Reviews

Witch Song by Amber Argyle

(2 out of 5 stars)*

Okay, first things first. Witch Song is harmless, predictable YA fun. If you want to invest in it to take your mind off things, do. The writing is decent and the world not unlikable. Please ignore the rest of my review.

Now, for readers that might be looking for a serious plot and plausible character development, be advised:

1) The only way your heroine can have such low self-esteem is if her mother kept her in a burlap sack and beat her with a stick every day. A large, mean stick. Which is not the case, as her mother dotes on her.

2) Why on earth why would a dark witch wreck utter havoc with the seasons and the planet in general? She has nothing to gain out of it, and in the long run, it will be like shooting her own leg.

3) You do realise that in a battle between mortals and witches the witches win every time, or they can just escape, right?

4) Nope, a girl with such low self-esteem does not suddenly develop awesome leadership skills. Witches are not an exception to that.

5) A book can be complete even if there is no romance in it. In fact, wonder of wonders, a book can be complete even if your heroine does not get engaged to anyone at the end, or in any part of it.

6) Deus ex machina must be used sparingly and ideally, not at all. If you write yourself into a corner and can’t think of a way out, squeeze dem brain cells.

7) Oh yes, it is a series. Naturally. Because every single book has to belong to a series nowadays.

8) Personal pet peeve. Why name your main character Brusenna? Because it has such a good ring to it? Let me think of words that begin with “bru”: Brutus, brutal, brouhaha, brunt, bruise, brusque, brute… Melodic no doubt, and all those positive connotations. It was a natural winner. Not.

You can find Witch Song here.

YA books are my bane… Over and out.

*My star rating and what it means:

One star: Meh… I didn’t like it and won’t be keeping it. It might be the book, or it might be me. I’ll try to clarify in my review.

Two stars: Average/ Okay. Either the kind of light/ undemanding book you read and don’t remember in a month, or suffering from flaws that prevented it from realising its potential.

Three stars: Better than average. Good moments, memorable characters and/ or plot, maybe good sense of humour… Not to die for, but not feeling like you wasted your time and money either.

Four stars: Wow, that was good! Definitely keeping it and checking to see what else I can buy from the same writer.

Censorship at its most insidious

By Lizbeth

On October 5, 2018

In Personal

Let me tell you a story. I mean, that’s what writers do, right? They tell stories.

Back in 2014, when I started out my journey as a published writer, Amazon only published ebooks via its KDP service. KDP is short for Kindle Direct Publishing. If you wanted to also offer a physical version of your book, you had to use Amazon’s subsidiary company, Create Space. So I published my book, the Theater of Dusk, using both companies. KDP published the ebook. Create Space got the physical book. Good so far?

I’ve paid for everything out of my pocket. By ‘everything’ I mean the cover, editing costs, the costs of organising giveaways and sending copies to the winners and so on and so forth. It was a large sum, and I don’t regret spending it. Other people spend the same money on shoes and the latest iPhone. I wanted to publish my book. Each to their own. Don’t judge me for my vices and I won’t judge you for yours.

My book doesn’t sell, and it comes as no surprise. Since Amazon will publish even the manuscript of a monkey with basic IT skills, the floodgates were opened. Everyone hoping to make a quick buck or having delusions of grandeur jumped on the bandwagon. The market was and still is buried under tens of thousands of cheap, similar, awful books. Standing out became impossible, unless there was a team of professionals behind your book who used their knowledge and some serious money to promote and advertise you. Since I don’t have a big publishing house behind me, I had very little hope of getting noticed. In fact, I never stood a chance. This, by the way, does not mean I regret publishing my book. I will never regret that.

About a month ago I made updates to both versions of my book and re-uploaded the manuscripts. Create Space contacted me shortly afterwards and told me they will stop publishing my physical book because it violated their standards. I sent several emails asking them to point out the exact problem, because they wouldn’t even tell me if it was a title, cover, description or content issue. My book just violated their standards, end of conversation. They refused to answer my emails and explain what the problem was. And of course the book remained out of print.

Create Space is currently in the process of becoming one with KDP. The physical book was recently transferred to the new company. As soon as that happened, it was blocked there too. Wowsers! So I contacted KDP asking for help to solve this issue, hoping they’d be more professional and give me information. I mean, unless you tell me what the problem is, how in the blue blazes am I supposed to solve it? I waited and waited and got the same vague reply. That my book violated their standards, and consequently it would not be published.

At the time of writing this entry, only my ebook was available. I am surprised they haven’t taken that down too. Now, I would love to think I’m too shocking for the minds of common men, and my literary genius has scared them senseless and they cowered before my immense depravity. But believe me if I tell you I’ve both read and written some very extreme things, and my first book is nowhere near close. All things considered, it’s rather mild, it has a ton of trigger warnings in the description, and even the erotic scenes are few and in between.

How hypocritical is it to sell books like 50 Shades as Amazon and refuse to sell what doesn’t even qualify as porn?

How hypocritical is to sell mysteries and thrillers with excruciating details of gruesome murder and torture and refuse to print what can barely be labeled as violent?

I am disheartened, because it has been a non-stop uphill struggle for four years and it doesn’t look like it’s going to improve anytime soon. I also know why they won’t tell me what the problem is. If they did, and I had money, I could have taken legal action. By keeping the details vague, I can’t accuse them of something specific. So they get to do what they want, and I have no say in the matter. A meek, obedient, perfect little cog, keeping the Great Machine running.

A meek little cog with visions of cities burning, of angels mating with monsters and giving birth to abominations, of deepest darkness, the Night Without End. Of beauty inseparable from suffering, for all beauty leads to suffering. Of compassion, cruelty and despair, and everything forbidden and forgotten, desolate and alone, crying out under starless, empty skies.

Still want me to be your cog? Because I don’t think the shoe fits.

I don’t even know why I bother writing this entry, except for the fact I am too bitter to keep it inside. It’s not going to change anything and I know it. But I’m sick to my heart by constant adversity. And my only outlet is, unsurprisingly, writing. I mean, who would have thought.

Reviewers needed for my wee monster!

By Lizbeth

On November 16, 2017

In Uncategorized

I am desperately looking for reviewers. I am particularly interested in reviewers who can publish on both Goodreads and Amazon. PLEASE be warned, my book contains strong triggers: BDSM, suicide, murder, violence, blood, non-con sex etc. If you have 10+ reviews on Goodreads and you’re interested, please message me for an ebook. In order to confirm your Goodreads account, you will need to message me from Goodreads. If you want a physical book, due to my very tight budget (unemployed at the moment) I can send out one book per month. PLEASE share!

My Goodreads profile:

https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/8377818.Lizbeth_Gabriel

All reviews of my work, positive, neutral or negative, are welcome. Reading a book is a completely personal experience, so an honest review is a blessing. Even a negative review is better than no review. It shows that people read my work and validates the positive reviews. So please contact me if you are interested. Thank you!

Looking for a title

By Lizbeth

On September 24, 2015

In Uncategorized

I am looking for a title for my SF Romance novel and brainstorming with my illustrator on a possible cover. Naturally, I decided to browse covers and titles in Amazon. Here are some titles I found.

· Desired By The Alien

· Seduced By The Alien

· Stolen By The Alien

· Bought By The Alien

· Caressed By The Savage Alien

· Chosen by the Alien

· Chosen By The Alien Lord

· Releasing Rage (Cyborg Sizzle Book 1)

· Alien Warrior’s Captive Earthling

· Alien Alpha: (Qetesh Warrior)

· Rescued By Tordin: Olodian Alien Warrior Romance

· Alien Warrior (Zerconian Warriors Book 1)

· Warrior’s Mate: A Sci-Fi Shifter Romance

· Claimed by the Warrior

· Barbarian Lover

· Kidnapped by the Alien Barbarians

· Alien’s Innocent Bride

· Alien Commander’s Chosen

I can safely say that I am no wiser than I was before (at least concerning a possible title). My illustrator is none the wiser either. Almost every cover had a headless torso with amazing abs superimposed on a scifi background. Astounding abs, those aliens. I want to be abducted by a savage shapeshifter barbarian alien lord commander too, but maybe tomorrow. Tonight I have to wash my hair.